Who’s perfect? We all
have short-comings; you can even call them faults if you like.
Whether it’s just a
bad habit or a deeper aspect of your personality, trying to suppress or deny
what you don’t like about yourself doesn’t make it cease or vanish. In fact, resistance usually
feeds it more energy!
Rather, face it as
being there for a reason – a reason that will give you better insight to yourself. Just
like kindness works for dealing with difficult people, give the difficult parts
of yourself the same consideration.
#1 You will learn more
about yourself.
We’re likely to
discover that some of the things we don’t like correlate to things that we do. Procrastinators
frequently work better under pressure, people who are over-sensitive may be
more understanding, messy people are often highly creative, neurotic people can
show remarkable perseverance, shy people are more observant and better
listeners – find your particular upside. Accepting all of who you are can give you a bigger picture of how
you are wired.
#2 You will have a
better chance of managing it.
For example, if
traffic makes you angry, find different times or routes to drive where you need
to go – an extra 15 minutes to be more calm and balanced may help your
co-worker relationships, not to mention your physical health. If there is no
other time or route possible, you may be surprised to learn that classical
music reduces stress levels, decreases blood pressure, and improves mood. If
you hate classical music, consider an audio book so you’ll be distracted and
won’t mind the delays as you listen to an interesting plot or discussion. Managing
anger in the car will help you manage it elsewhere – work WITH yourself.
#3 You will reap more
rewards than overcoming just the one issue.
By knowing our
negative tendencies and learning to dance with them, instead of trying to
disown them and then being blind-sided when they show up, we will be forearmed
and able to make better choices, establish healthier boundaries, and avoid
recurring mistakes. These skills will foster more thoughtfulness and help us be
more authentic. Best of all, it feels good to give ourselves permission to not
be perfect – whew, that makes everything better!
#4 You will relate
better to others.
It is well researched
that when we understand the reasons for a person’s foibles then we are more
forgiving and willing to cut them some slack (just look at your friends!).
Owning our negative tendencies as well as positive ones puts us in a strong
position to empathize with others – that won’t mean we have to like everything someone
else does, but we can better see that no one can always meet the expectations all
around us. Accepting and finding compassion for yourself will help you accept
and find compassion for other people.
Joanne
Joanne Gartner, PhD
Joanne Gartner, PhD
480.370.6345
Mesa, AZ office or Skype
(c)
2018 Soul Liberations LLC
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